A Note About Belonging

Several years ago, I experienced the profound pain of being cast out of a community I had cared deeply about and worked within for many years. The experience changed me.

I don’t want to use this space to revisit the accusations, defend myself, or argue about the past. There are other places for those conversations. What I want to say is what I came to understand about the kind of social justice movement I want to be part of—and to help create.

I believe we can hold one another accountable without destroying one another.

I believe that when someone says or does something that concerns us, curiosity is more powerful than condemnation. We can ask questions before making assumptions. We can talk about impact without assuming intent. We can disagree deeply while still recognizing one another’s humanity. And we can make room for people to learn, change, and repair.

There may be times when separation is necessary to protect people from genuine harm. But exile should not be our first response to difference, conflict, or imperfection—especially in movements whose purpose is to create a more just and compassionate world.

I believe our differences can make movements stronger. We don’t need to agree on everything to work toward a common vision. We need ways of being in community that allow us to challenge one another without making belonging conditional on perfect agreement.

My experience of losing community also taught me something I had understood intellectually but now know much more deeply: belonging is not a luxury. It is fundamental to our humanity. When we make belonging conditional, we inflict a profound kind of harm. When we create spaces where people can be seen, heard, challenged, and still held in community, we create the conditions for healing and growth.

That is the kind of community I want to help build.

My hope for social justice is not a movement that becomes better at identifying who is wrong. It is a movement that becomes better at creating the world we say we want: a world grounded in dignity, connection, accountability, compassion, and belonging.

I still believe in that world.

And I still believe we can build it together.